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Reblog if you’re shorter than 5’8.

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(Source: missmerchantt, via notyouraveragecoxswain)

a simplified guide to sexualities

homosexual:sexually attracted to homer simpson
pansexual:gets off to various kitchen utensils
asexual:gets turned on by the first letter of the latin alphabet
demisexual:sexually attracted to you if and only if your blood is half divine
bisexual:can only have sex with two people ever. choose wisely
heterosexual:can only be satisfied by macklemore

bombing:

turns out a creampie isn’t a pastry and the internet is a disgusting place

(via loveless-wrists-dripping-blood)

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